Living in suburbia

A quick post about our move last month which got lost in the draft folder.

The move was an absolute nightmare, the three of us were ill and my plans to clear the flat in one weekend didn't bear fruit. So there is still a massive amount to move next weekend as well as a big clean up of the flat. The sofas wouldn't fit, the landlord is away on a family emergency, we had to saw through a padlock on the side gate and even with babygates up I'm in constant fear of C falling down the stairs. For the next two weeks it's a three hour trip to take C to his old nursery before going onto work and coming home with him in a jampacked commuter train is no fun.

However the little joys of moving out to the suburbs are a balm to my exhausted body and frazzled brain.

The garden is a major plus point. Mum bought us some plants and C a little red watering can. Mum-in-law bought me a pink watering can and a broom. C and I spend our evenings watering the plants and admiring the one strawberry which in just two days is turning from white to pink.

Chatting to neighbours is lovely, there's a friendly older couple nextdoor who have a grandson C's age in Singapore and the lady nextdoor but one welcomed me to the 'garden club', all three gardens have low walls so it's rude not to chat and all three of us have names beginning with M.

Walking to the station is pleasant, I love being nosy and looking at everyone's well tended gardens and the few people we see early in the morning will often say hello.

So we're pleased to be in but exhausted.

Commuting with the boy

Sorry for the lack of posts, the past month has been busy busy busy! We've finally got through it and I now have two(ish) weeks off work, first to settle the boy in his new nursery and then we're going to the seaside for a week.

But the last three weeks have been exhausting, mainly because at the start or end of each day we've been doing 3 hour commutes with the boy to go from our new house to London Bridge, from London Bridge to his nursery and then back into London Bridge to go to work. Leaving at 6am and getting home at 7pm was not fun, but that is over now and I am enjoying a Sunday evening with a cold beer and the patio door open.

The boy was an absolute star, he loved going on the trains and we could bribe him with 'wriggly worms' (fruit strings) to help keep him happy and to have a 'quiet voice' on the train. Most of the trains were so early that we got seats easily, but the 2nd evening train was a nightmare, full on commuter cattle trucks, with me often having to hold the boy, squashed by those around us. We would usually get given a seat, but only 3-4 stations along when people had started to get off and there was room to get anywhere near the seats.

Here's a montage of the boy being good on our commutes in (I hardly took any photos on the way home, it was just too busy and stressful!)

However, watering the garden in the evening during this current heat wave was a lovely way to relax, and C really enjoyed filling his little red can up and helping Mama.

His last day at 'old nursery' was sad, everyone got hugs and kisses, he got given toys by his favourite two carers and we've promised to visit soon. He understands that he's left and doesn't seem too worried, but we will see what happens when it sinks in that he won't be seeing his old friends every day.

Moving house

Next weekend we're moving house, we're saying goodbye to our 2 bed flat near Crystal Palace and moving to the 'burbs further east to be closer to T's family. After writing about the disappointment of losing our first house choice,  over the last couple of weeks our new house has grown on me. It's a detached, 3 bed with a GARDEN (so happy about that last part) and we reckon it's well over double the size of our current place.

We viewed it again yesterday and took C-bear along to see it. Whilst I measured up for curtains and washing machines with J, T took C for a house tour and the little man was so excited, happy to see his new room and the garden in particular. He's really happy about the move and has yet to see the possible down sides (leaving his best friend and the nursery he loves) so can't wait for next weekend.

So this weekend has been a flurry of signing papers, paying deposits, packing up boxes and making two (yes two) Ikea trips (Lakeside didn't have the curtain rod part we wanted so we went to Croydon too). My Pinterest house moving inspiration boards have grown with a flurry of pin ides. Now it is quiet time, the boy is having a quick nap before I take him down to soft play to meet his best friend and T continues packing boxes.

Boards for our new home:
New home (general bits and pieces we'll need once we move)
Rooms with red carpet (the house is all red red red carpet and cream walls)
Train themed bedroom ideas (for C's new big boy room)
Mint bathroom (the new place has a terrible retro mint bathroom suite)
Garden things (I can't wait to get some containers growing)
Toddler garden fun (we'll have space for the paddling pool this summer)

Q&A with a three year old

Spontaneous questions whilst sitting on the sofa with my boy, these are his word for word answers!

What's your favourite colour - Blue and Green
What's your favourite food - Meatballs
What's your favourite drink - Water, we have two taps in our house
What's your favourite TV programme - Dora
Who's your favourite character - Dora and Peppa
What's your favourite toy - Thomas's, I like all the Thomas's because I got those for my birthday
What's your favourite song - I like chocolate bar, twinkle twinkle chocolate bar
How old are you? I'm 3
Who's your best friend? Little Miss C and Little Miss I and Little Miss A
Who's your best friend who's a boy? Me and little master J and cousin M
What other question should I ask you? Ummm chocolate bar...

House hunting blues

Last week the realities of life delivered another blow to our future family happiness. We'd found that rare thing, an almost perfect house and were due to move in at the end of the month. It was within budget and like a TARDIS inside, with a beautiful large living space, newly decorated rooms throughout and a garden. It was two mins from the station, five mins from our dream nursery and twenty mins from the in laws. We had paid the holding deposit and waited two weeks for our credit check to come through, I chased last week and the estate agent said yes we'd passed, so the house was ours. Except it wasn't. An hour later I had a message to call the agent back. My heart sank, I already knew something would be wrong, the wording he used wasn't "I've sorted out that second viewing you wanted so you can come and measure up", it was "call me". I was on a packed bus on my way back from a meeting at the British Museum with a colleague and wham, my heart was broken a little bit more. The landlord had rented our house to a family member who could move in immediately. Even though we'd paid the holding deposit and passed the credit check there was nothing we could do. Sometimes life really sucks.

So last weekend was a whirlwind of Internet searches and house viewings and (fingers crossed) we've found another. I'm not in love with it yet, my heart is still with the little red and white house that slipped away, but this new house has all the ingredients to make a lovely family home. I paid the deposit yesterday and we're waiting to hear back, so we'll see.

To keep me sane I've been creating a mass of Pinterest boards to find some inspiration.

Boards include:
New home (general bits and pieces we'll need once we move)
Rooms with red carpet (the house is all red red red carpet and cream walls)
Train themed bedroom ideas (for C's new big boy room)
Mint bathroom (the new place has a terrible retro mint bathroom suite)
Garden things (I can't wait to get some containers growing)
Toddler garden fun (we'll have space for the paddling pool this summer)

Racing at Crystal Palace

There's been car races at Crystal Palace since 1899! Now it only takes place once a year, this weekend, the May Spring bank holiday. We've never been but I do have a framed picture from an old GWR ad hanging on the wall, so thought it was probably a good idea to experience it for ourselves.

We packed a picnic and headed across the road to see the races. We met little friend T and his mama and the boys had lots of fun.

Highlights included; having a go on real diggers (C and I had to hook ducks from a pond, whilst R and T had to knock down skittles), seeing inside the car's engines and watching the barrel train (a quad bike pulling multiple barrels on wheels.

The races were timed and we saw loads of vintage cars circling around the track. We had a lovely picnic at the top of the hill looking down onto the race track.

It was a lot of fun and so close to home! When C is a little bigger we will definitely look at going to other races and air shows etc. as C didn't appreciate fully just yet but I'm sure he will.

Beach holiday fun

I've been having lots of fun over the past month creating some new boards on my Pinterest account and thought it would be nice to share them here.

This board is inspired by all things seaside, just looking at these pins makes me think of sunny days with wind swept, salty hair and sand between the toes. See for yourself - Beach Holiday Fun.

Blue sky in London

The weather so far this May has been driving me crazy. Way too cold and wet with depressing grey skies. It was pretty cold today but the sky was beautiful, brilliant blue with cotton wool clouds. I captured it on my journey to work.

St Martin's in the Field, The National Gallery, The Shard from London Bridge Station and the bottom of Hay Market. Beautiful.

How miscarriage changes you

Taking from Pinterest - Inspiration After Miscarriage

 

Until it happened to me I was extremely naive about miscarriage. It was something I learned about in A'level Biology or something that happened to other women. Surely it happens to those who smoke, or drink or take drugs during pregnancy, to those who are really underweight or hugely overweight or who are pregnant for the first time. When I fell pregnant with our 2nd child it did not even occur to me that I might lose him.

 

None of my close friends has ever miscarried and the only person I knew who had was a friend I rarely see. At the time I passed on my commiserations but didn't think of a miscarriage as the major life changer I now know it to be. And that's the strange thing about miscarriage it's rarely talked about and if you haven't experienced one it's simply a sad, unfortunate fact of life. It's all there in Biology class, the chromosomes don't match up so the baby doesn't develop. When learning this at 17 I never thought that one day I would lose my baby in this way and when you experience it its far more than a case of too many or too few chromosomes.

 

When I lost my baby at 12 weeks, it wasn't simple biology because there's a whole emotional side that's never taught. I lost a baby. It doesn't matter that it was only 3 months along and the size of a plum, invested in that baby was a whole lifetime of hopes and dreams that will now never be lived and it's changed me completely.

 

I'm no longer the woman who walked happily into that scan two months ago, nor am I the woman who 12 weeks before thought a 2nd pregnancy would be as easy as the first, nor am I the woman who 4 months before that started trying for a 2nd baby and began investing in dreams about the future. I laugh and joke and look the same (though I tried hard not to with a haircut and new clothes) but the loss is always with me. It is there when I wake up and there when I go to sleep and is only kept at bay by keeping busy.

 

My boots and nails have never been so polished, nor the laundry so up to date. The hallway junk cupboard has been cleared out and everything is in clearly labelled boxes. I've signed up for another 5 weeks of Pilates and am thinking about running once a week in the evenings. Charlie's baby equipment has been catalogued and offered to be lent to my brother's first born due later this year and I'm committed to my work book club. I'm desperately trying to live the path I find myself walking to the full but inside I know something is horribly broken.

 

I have lost my inner calm, am quick to anger and will cry at the slightest thing. I've lost my ability to make small talk and find concentrating hard. My confidence has disappeared. Inside I am an emotional wreck, no longer the woman I once was. Time bends, it stretches and shrinks but so far time has not been the healer it is often promised to be.

 

There is now the added whirl of trying again, not to replace what was lost but to complete our family. There are date calculations and ovulation tests and a lot of being frustrated by the waiting. A lot of time trying not to think about it going wrong again and a lot of time trying to dodge pregnant women (who are everywhere in London). Every time I see a swollen belly I feel a blow in mine, a deep ache for what might have been. This week I would have been 5 months along and over half way through. Instead I am waiting for two lines on a stick to be the same colour so we can begin the whole process again and it hurts.

Charlie's 3rd Birthday - A Day Out With Thomas

Last week the boy turned 3 and for his birthday we decided to let him do the one thing he's been asking about for ages, a steam train ride. This boy is so into trains, he lives, breathes and dreams about them and Thomas the Tank Engine is absolutely number one for him at the moment.

The Spa Valley Railway was holding a Day Out With Thomas, so 11 of us went to help Charlie celebrate, including his little cousin M who loved the trains too.

It was really well set up, designed to be so exciting for little boys (and girls) with a Thomas addiction like our son. When we received the tickets in the post there was a message from Thomas to Charlie, we've read it many times. On the day, all the staff were really friendly and the Fat Controller was wandering around meeting everyone, he stopped and talked to Charlie and me for a long time and even though the boy was a little scared, he liked talking about having met the Fat Controller afterwards. Other staff members gave out Thomas books, we now have two new stories to read, and there was a balloon man on the train who made balloons for all the kids. Charlie got a white dog, little cousin M got a yellow parrot and Aunty N got a cool flower hat.

The train ride was fun though quite short, we were on the ride for 45 mins, but that included 15/20 mins at a station down the line waiting for the train to turn round. We rode inside Daisy who was being pulled by Spartan. Thomas was there but he doesn't do rides so that everyone can see him. As we were leaving the station the Thomas train went past our carriage pushing oil drums.

So a great day out and a good price, £9 for children and £11 for adults, which included the free books, balloons, ride on the train, talking to the Fat Controller and time to play at the 'imagination station' which had brio tracks and other games plus a Punch and Judy.

We'd packed a picnic to have at the station, but realised there was no space at Tunbridge Wells West, so on the way back to Nana and Grandad's house we all stopped at Hall Place in Kent for our picnic. It started great, but the grey clouds soon came in and we had to make a dash to the car . Nevertheless Charlie had a great day and hasn't stopped talking about it since.